Fair point. The traditional approach to weddings won’t suit everyone; events designed to suit the style of the couple are becoming more and more popular. Very often they cost less too. A point to remember is that any celebration with family and friends will need organizing. Someone needs to make sure that things happen as they should and that people get to the right places and do the right things.
Your event will need someone in charge. It could be a family member or friend, but this critical job will take more time and effort than most people imagine. William Knightsmith started wearing the red tailcoat in 1894 so he would stand out as an MC and not be seen as a waiter. A good toastmaster / MC will take that control and manage your wedding event with or without a red tailcoat. It’s just a visible coat, not a straightjacket for formality or ‘poshness’.
So when we talk ‘weddings’ or ‘events’, we can also talk ‘costumes’.